bri070102
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 09:14 ET

Well hello there

I see there are lots of new faces on the boards, and some not so new (yet still lovely) faces

Well....I haven't been on the boards at all the past many months and there's no good reason for it. The bad reason for it is that I've been hiding: from myself, from the boards, from everything. Hiding and in denial.

So, since what...May perhaps? I've been living life large...and larger. It became very easy to ignore the voices in my head to tell me to scale back, be careful.

Well, from what I can tell, I've gained, what, 30-35 pounds, sigh. I'm getting pretty close to my original start weight. sigh. I thought I could lose the weight again by eating sensibly and exercising but the problem was, I would eat sensibly for 3 days, never exercise, and then there would also be a lazy excuse as to why I should eat out etc.

Anyway, I've called the clinic...and I restart Friday. I'm really not looking forward to trips to the clinic 3x a week, the shots, the pills, the no food. But really that's just my laziness talking.

I feel like a big fat failure, literally. But, I'm willing to finally own up to my mistakes. I'm going to get my official weigh-in number on Friday so I'll do my ticker at that time.

This time I'm not going to take this weight loss thing so flippantly. I *am* going to do maintenance afterwards. I *am* going to make the right choices.

Gosh. I'm nervous. But I feel better getting all this out there.

Wish me luck!
- Bri

DonnaN
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 09:40 ET

Welcome back Bri! you've been missed...cheers to your restart and the committment to goal! i can't imagine having to start up again - that's why i keep going...i applaud your courage!      

AngelaM
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 09:48 ET

I wish you, more than luck, success on going.  Now in maintenance myself, I worry every day that weight will creep back on, because I wont be able to stop snacking/treating myself to all those 'other' foods I crave.  Besides deprivation and regular exercise how does one keep motivated in order to stay thin.  Daily life will sabotage my efforts in my too busy schedule I just know it!  What is the secret, where is the inner strength for staying thin?

Reggie
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 09:53 ET

Good for you for coming back!  I'm sure most of us have been there, done that, before -- if not with this diet, then with another one.  I lost 30 lbs when I was in my mid-20s... swore I'd never go there again... and here I am!  However, this time, the message has FINALLY gotten through that this has to be a permenent lifestyle change... so this time, it's going to last!  

I've only been here a short time but find this forum extremely supportive.  So welcome back!

bri070102
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 10:13 ET

Thanks all.

It is really though and I applaud you all for staying on track. Donna you are doing so great!! Wow Angela congrats on maintenance.

I honestly don't know the secret to staying thin. I think it has something to do with not obsessing/not being either one extreme or the other. So really, it's all about balance. For me I would get into this mode of "one last time" or "why should i deprive myself" and I really need to get out of that head space.

I'm actually looking forward to having my food choices restricted so I can go back to believing that food is for fuel, not for "want".

Also the first time around, I got very close to goal. But I was starting and stopping and had many little cheats and modifications along the way. I vow this time to not cheat and do this properly from the beginning.

ChocLabLover
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 11:10 ET

Welcome back!  If I had a dollar every time I fell off and restarted....Let's just say I could write a book on the experience.  As for the secret to staying thin-I am still trying to figure that one out myself.  I tend to wander into the maintenance forum and read the posts there.  Good luck on Friday.

Heather7
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 13:18 ET

Welcome Back, Bri!

I am one of the new faces you referred to, and I'm glad that we'll have another person to share information and experiences with.

I hope your appointment on Friday goes well!

-Heather

ShelleyV
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 14:08 ET

Bri

I am also one of the new faces   and although I don't post a lot (I never seem to have anything clever to add) I do get an enormous benefit from reading about everyone else's experiences. I've been at this for a month now and hoping to get to goal as I've never achieved goal weight in any weight program I've been in! So I can certainly relate to your experience. I'm really looking forward to a year of maintenace to try and understand where my weight gain keeps coming from!!
Best of luck on Friday and I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

Shelley

back2me
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 14:30 ET

hey you!  I'm still around!  Nice to see you back (though I wish it were under different circumstances).  Good for you to own up to it though--I'm sure that wasn't easy!  We'll cheer each other on!

bri070102
Posted: Oct. 15 2008, 15:21 ET

Thanks again newbies And hey back2me..you're still around too eh?

Gosh this really is tough and I'm freaking out a little and I'm really disappointed in myself but hey life goes on and it's time to make the right choices.

Hugs to all.

Michelle
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 00:29 ET

Welcome back Bri !!!!  Don't fret it, even the best of us end up in the same position!!!!    I'm right there with ya.  You are definately doing the right thing by recognizing where you went wrong and going back!  I look forward to cheering you on as you get back to where you want to be.

Tamara1
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 00:47 ET

Hi Bri! Glad to have company as I've just gone back myself. Not quite back to my original weight, but too far away from goal    - had started a new job that went down poison road and my cost for not getting out sooner was 20lbs.

Congrats for making it back. I'll see you along the journey.

Tamara

NPacheco
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 06:43 ET

Hello Bri,
Congrats on making the choice to get your weight and food habits back under your control.  I think its important to recognize that you've made an important decision and not beat yourself up about the gained weight.  Its done -- move on and focus on the new road ahead of you.... As to staying thin -- I have no idea... I still find it a struggle each day -- I struggle with that part of me that just wants to eat when I become sad -- sometimes she wins, sometimes I win.  I try and focus on the big picture every time that I eat something that I regret later.  I figure that if I can analyze why it happened, then I can make a plan of attack to keep it from happening again... It is a struggle sometimes and sometimes I feel like I'm a slave to the scale.... but overall I know that I'm eating healthier and that junk food is just that -- junk food...  I think these forums are a great way to get things off your chest and find out that you are not alone.  Best of luck -- we'll be here to cheer you on....

Paula
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 08:51 ET

Welcome Back Bri!!!

Been there, done that!! I truly am starting to feel that somebody HAS to gain weight back after losing it in order to not do the same thing a second time!! I did DrB years ago and didn't do maintenance....gained all and more back. Here I am on the second round and feel that I have a much better handle on maintaining than I did before. Yes, I go up, lose my motivation, and get sick of it....disappear for bits at a time but always am conscious of the gains and nip it in the bud when I get to a certain gain point. I think that, for me, allowing myself a limit on the gain before getting my ass back to clinic is the key. I will not allow myself to go over the 10 lb mark. Once there.....back I go. It's working for me so far although I'm not sure how long the clinic is going to let me work that way. We'll see I guess.

Anyway, it's great to see you back. I know you can do it!! You are such an inspiration to so many of us..... You've been missed!!!

bri070102
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 10:36 ET

Thanks!! I really needed all that support

Pinkwine
Posted: Oct. 16 2008, 11:43 ET

Welcome back to the forum!

Kizmettrider
Posted: Oct. 29 2008, 00:57 ET

Welcome back Bri,
And here i come, tail between my legs as well. I wanna be done with this battle!
I turn 30 next year and I wanna be skinny for the big day. I wanna be skinny for my 30's Done the baby making thing.
So here I go, one day at a time. So good luck and I will tell you how everything goes on Friday.

bri070102
Posted: Oct. 29 2008, 09:03 ET

Good luck Kiz! Oh and Tamara too forget to mention that. Gosh restarting is so scary, eh? But hopefully well worth it!

prairieshome
Posted: Oct. 29 2008, 17:34 ET

Welcome back Bri, I restarted in September after a 5 month absence, this is the 2nd time re-starting the program since my original start date of Jan'07. Although I manage to do a pretty good job keeping the weight off when I'm not OP (obviously this process has taught me something) I do not loose at all when I am not going to the clinic and being strict.

All the best to you... I'm cheering for you!

JennM
Posted: Nov. 3 2008, 17:57 ET

Welcome back Bri,

I was worrying about you since I hadn't heard a thing from you in forever =( Glad to see your back on track.

::hugs::

bri070102
Posted: Nov. 4 2008, 08:17 ET

Thanks Jenn! I know, it's like I dropped off the face of the earth, right? lol

Ada
Posted: Nov. 4 2008, 10:14 ET

You know, the beauty of this forum is that it is so much like a huge extended family.  Life creates situations where people come and go, but the forum is always here to return to whenever the mood strikes or the need arises . No one should ever feel embarrassed to come back for whatever reason or feel embarrassed that they went their own way, for whatever reason.  


So get that tail high everyone who is back amongst us after an absence !  We missed you !!  

TofuHeart
Posted: Nov. 6 2008, 05:29 ET

Welcome back. This thread really motivated me to get back on track. I'm on educational Maintenance right now and I'm going no where. Not gaining, not losing. I want to get back on track and start losing again. Not looking forward to the lack of food and going back on the pills but I know this diet works and I'm bound to get to my goal weight.

Good luck with your new start. You've taken a big step.